How To Forgive Yourself: Do You Have A Chance?

Forgiving yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. It will give you peace of mind and emotional balance. Learn how you can forgive yourself by reading today’s article  .

Surely you know that forgiveness is not easy at all . Doing so requires humility, patience, deep compassion, and unconditional self-love. You must learn to forgive yourself if you want to live in harmony with yourself and with other people.

Most of us have made a few mistakes in our lives because mistakes are part of every person’s life. Many of us regret that we did not act differently in the past and say that if we had the chance, we would have acted differently.

Not knowing how to set boundaries at work or in a relationship, being overly submissive or aggressive, selfish behavior, or doing something that hurts others – all of these situations can make you feel very uncomfortable in the form of guilt or frustration.

Should you feel guilty? How to forgive yourself?

Guilt is the primary operating mechanism in the learning process. It guides your conscience and imposes limits that show whether your motives and behaviors are right or not. According to personality psychologist Erik Erickson, people typically develop a healthy sense of guilt by the time they turn three.

When it is not possible to develop it, as well as when it is not possible to internalize the moral and ethical code, interacting with other people can be problematic. Not feeling guilty is one of the character traits of psychopaths.

Therefore, feeling guilty when you do something wrong is a good indicator of mental health. It means you are aware of what you have done. These feelings can help you fix the situation when you choose to apologize or take other measures to reduce any discomfort you feel.

The problem arises when you feel guilty about past actions and decisions. You allow yourself to be tormented by something that has already happened, falling into a vicious circle. It will not let you live in the present and will trap you in the cage of the unresolved past.

Forgive yourself: what does it mean?

Forgiving yourself does not mean justifying inappropriate behavior or feeling no regret. It involves recognizing the negative emotions that arise in you and not letting them affect your present.

Forgiveness is gradual because it doesn’t happen in the blink of an eye. It’s a complex process. It may take some years for some to heal their wounds completely, and for others it may be easier. Forgiving yourself also means overcoming opposition to change, because in many cases it is easier to feel guilty than to give up self-criticism and pain.

The degrees of forgiveness

Forgiving yourself is a process that consists of the following steps:

1. Understand what is true. You have to be honest with yourself. If you do something wrong, it’s best not to deceive yourself.
2. Take responsibility for what happened. All actions have consequences, so it is better to be brave and face them.
3. Reach out to your deepest feelings that motivated your actions. Knowing what led to certain actions is the right step to help you avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future.
4. Open up to feeling emotions without judging. Accepting your imperfections plays a key role. Besides, accepting what has happened enables the healing process to begin.
5. Heal your emotional wounds. In order for you to be able to do this, you need to open up to compassion instead of criticizing yourself.
6. Love yourself unconditionally. It means accepting yourself completely, including not only your talents and virtues, but also flaws and mistakes. During this last stage, self-love and forgiveness are closely related.

Strategies to help you forgive yourself

Here are practical steps you can take to forgive yourself faster:

• Say you’re sorry. An apology is a big step forward if you have hurt someone, whether your action was deliberate or not. But remember that your “sorry” should come from the bottom of your heart. Apologizing should not involve any expectations, because asking for forgiveness does not mean that the hurt person will forgive you immediately. Nevertheless, such action supports the healing process – for you and the person you have injured.

• Share your experiences. Explaining your own mistakes to the other person can help release your guilt. For example, you can talk to a friend who makes you feel safe and accepts you as you are. Another way is to go to therapy with a specialist who can teach you how to manage your emotions.
• Write. Another handy option is to put everything you want to say to the other person on paper. Writing a letter will help you organize your thoughts and emotions and get rid of the pain that torments you. Depending on the situation you are in, you can send a letter or treat it only as a way to support the healing process.
• Heal your inner child. Meditation is a very helpful tool that can help you achieve forgiveness. Becoming relaxed and communicating with your wounded inner child, while also providing yourself with all the security and unconditional love you need, can help you deal with the past. However, pay attention to the fact that you can also achieve this with the help of a professional therapist.

Summary

Forgiving yourself, like any other kind of forgiveness, is a process. It is a path to let go of pain and open up to living in the present and future free from suffering.

You must learn to accept that you are operating in accordance with your level of consciousness at every stage of your life. If you have not acted properly in the past, it may be because of your ignorance.

During the treatment process, you realize that you are no longer at this stage in your life, and the mistakes you made have allowed you to develop. In this way, you should be able to move forward and be more understanding with yourself in order to achieve peace.