The Expectations Of Others Are Not A Measure Of Your Happiness

The expectations of other people, especially if we are not able to meet them, can effectively take away our happiness and satisfaction. It does not matter if it happens in the professional or private sphere – being the object of someone’s criticism and dissatisfaction is never pleasant.

Very often, the expectations of others are not our motivation, but rather a burden that we cannot cope with. This article is about why it is not worth worrying about the expectations of others and why for ourselves only what leads us to be happy should count.

Some people are obsessed with controlling others. They want everyone to act according to the key they set and the principles they profess.

These kinds of toxic relationships surround us on all sides. Sometimes the person who constantly criticizes us and wants to conform is a family member, friend or colleague from work.

In the eyes of such people, we are never good enough at what we do.

We have no influence on their opinion, so all we can do is stop paying attention to it and break a relationship that offers us only harsh words instead of support.

Expectations of others: 3 steps to freedom

Openness, understanding and listening to each other are not very common in today’s world. Most people have trouble understanding the simple fact that other people have a right to their own views and decisions, and they only have to respect it.

Your own expectations of other people depend on several factors to consider:

• Medicines: 

Anxiety is a feeling that limits us and at the same time makes us strive to control other people’s lives. This is due to a fear of loneliness and rejection.

We want to keep someone at all costs, so we surround them with a whole chain of do’s and don’ts. We cover our fear with the mask of someone who is madly despotic, but underneath it is easy to see our complexes and fears.

• Education: 

How we were raised is a key aspect of the whole thing. If in childhood we have not been taught how to build healthy relationships, we have not been provided with a sense of security and we have not been taught to respect others, in adulthood we may have very serious problems with understanding these issues and establishing relationships with people.

• Personal interests: 

It is about our desires and a certain amount of selfishness that each of us has. Sometimes, regardless of how we were brought up, in pursuit of our goals, we impose our opinion and rules of conduct on others to strengthen our leadership position.

The aspects described above prove one simple fact: people often put on armor to protect them from the outside world. They are closed in their shells and do not let anyone see inside.

The thicker the armor, the greater the secrets hidden beneath it. Below you will find a recipe in three steps for how not to give in to such people and not get caught up in their game.

These are their priorities, not yours

Surely, at some stage in your life, you have noticed that the people around you pursue completely different goals than you do. For example, you’ve decided to switch to vegetarianism, but your family mocks and criticizes your decision.

In turn, when building a new relationship, you can hear from your loved ones that “you deserve someone better”. However, you cannot allow these words to influence your own decisions beforehand. There are a few things you need to understand:

• Everyone has the right to their own opinion. Many people tend to impose their views on others. These views should be respected, but under no circumstances should they be taken as absolute truth and act contrary to oneself.
• Whenever you find yourself in one of the situations described above, remember that you are a free person and have the right to make your own choices. The expectations of others cannot guide you.
• No one has the right to decide for you, what to do to be a happy man. You know it best yourself.

If something makes you happy, it means it’s good for you

Your daily life choices show who you are, and each step you take is a step on the path to happiness that you have chosen yourself.

• Remember that if someone cannot accept your decisions, it is their problem, not yours. The expectations of others, as the name suggests, are their expectations. So they can’t blame you for not making a decision to fulfill them.
• If your life begins to revolve around meeting other people’s expectations, then it will stop having any meaning – it  will cease to be yours. Create your own happiness based on your own decisions. Dare to do it, because that’s what you deserve.

Life is too short to meet other people’s expectations

We all make mistakes, and people who really care about us help us get back on track. However, if someone tries to correct our every step, then his goal is probably not our welfare, but his own complacency and control over our lives.

• If you know such a person, unfortunately we have bad news – there is very little chance that they will change. Lack of empathy and reciprocity is a trait that is hard to get rid of.
• The greatest wisdom worth remembering is that life is too short to meet other people’s expectations. Become your own priority. If you are not good enough for someone, then that someone is also not good enough for you.

By living according to your own rules and views, you will certainly do well. Don’t let someone make you feel guilty and destroy your self-esteem just because they don’t agree with your choices.